Friday, May 26, 2017
So, here's how its going
Went into a restaurant today and every person already seated turned around to look at me. I am not exaggerating.
I think some people are surprised to see me out and about, but I REFUSE to become a recluse.
I am looking a little scary lately.
Doing my hair is very difficult.
It is really hard for me to wash my own hands.
I am going to be fifty in August.
I am losing the use of my mouth muscles - regularly biting the inside of my mouth as I swallow the extra saliva that I am producing for reasons that I don't understand.
I bite my tongue when I sneeze.
I am having more trouble swallowing my food.
I am eating less because I can barely hold a fork or my food.
Soon people will have to start feeding me.
Will I go out if people have to feed me? Probably.
Then people will really stare at me!
I have regrets about mistakes I have made.
However if I didn't make those mistakes I wouldn't be the person I am today.
I am still making mistakes.
Raising kids is really hard. Really. Hard.
I miss walking barefoot.
I miss being able to straighten up the house by myself.
My stomach muscles and some of my joints hurt.
Advil is not helping.
I can't talk when I cry.
I sound drunk when I talk.
I am sleeping with my arms and hands all scrunched up even though I make a conscious effort to go to sleep with them straight.
Both of my pointer fingers are gnarled.
Adam is planting a vegetable garden.
We also have a few bird feeders in our backyard.
We get blue jays, cardinals, a few different kinds of woodpeckers, and many squirrels.
Adam is getting very pissed at the squirrels.
Yesterday I saw a red-winged blackbird. It's my favorite bird.
The days are running together.