Friday, January 27, 2017

Calm


The wind was blowing hard yesterday. I was listening to it from my warm home, snuggled on my cozy chair, with the dog and a blanket on my lap. Yesterday I was thankful that I didn't have to go outside, but I did wonder if the first graders had recess, and I felt bad for my friends that had recess duty. 

The wind blew so hard yesterday that our ping pong table fell over, but I was grateful that it fell away from the house and not into our sliding glass doors. I heard it fall and yelled from the dining room to the den, where Gillian was feverishly studying for a test that she was determined to do well on. She saw it fall and reassured me that everything was okay.

The wind was blowing so hard yesterday that our trees were bending over but not snapping. I am grateful that Adam recently had them trimmed. Our yard would have been covered in branches had he not. 

The wind blew hard yesterday. When the dogs went into the backyard to do their thing they came back quickly. Jackson shivering. Sonky pushing her face against the glass, trying to get in even before I opened the door. Leaving funny nose shaped smudges on the door. I am thankful I can still open the door just enough for the dogs to get in and out.

While the wind was blowing yesterday, I watched it dance across the front yard through the living room windows. It was pushing the left over leaves around the yard and across the street. The telephone wires were bouncing up and down, and the squirrels were holding on to them for dear life. The cars were speeding by and I saw a plastic bag attach itself to someone's windshield.

Today the outside looks calm and cold. The dogs still rushed back to come in, shivering, their fur feeling cold. They have taken their places for the rest of the morning. Jackson sleeping on the top of the couch facing the window, just in case he might miss something to bark at. Like a jogger, a biker, the UPS man, or G-d forbid, someone walking their dog. Sonky has retired to her crate. We positioned it by the living room window so she can be a look out as well. She doesn't care nearly as much as Jackson about what is going on in the outside world. And I have positioned myself at the computer for a few hours, The computer gives me a window to the outside world, but also a means for letting people see in.

Today the outside is calm. The birds are scampering to eat the left over seeds that had fallen from the suet block the squirrels tore apart. The squirrels are taking a chance to climb to the ends of the pear tree branches to eat and store the last of the tiny pears.  The sky, the road, my back fence, and even my muddy back yard are all the same color - that gray that everything turns before a big snow storm. The sun is trying to peek out, and the squirrel stops what she is doing and looks up, almost as surprised as I am. 

Today the outside seems calm. I feel calm inside as well. I will see some good friends today. Adam and I made a big decision about a van, and that will give me a little more independence. My kids are happy. I am going to ignore the ugliness in the world for a couple of days in order to hold onto this calm. I will find good in everything I can. 

Live to Love. Love to Live.

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