Friday, November 11, 2016

Keeping a sense of humor

Many things have happened this week, but I need to start with what happened today.

Adam and I just got back from food shopping.  First syllable rhymes with "beg", second syllable is the singular of "mens".  I love this store.  Even though they are in the midst of the longest remodeling in the history of mankind and everything is in a different place every time I go there, I still love shopping there.

This week I was told that I should try to preserve as much arm strength as possible by NOT pushing myself in the manual wheelchair anymore.  That in itself will be another blog post, but relevant to this story.  So in an attempt to be able to shop with Adam and be as independent as possible we decided that we would park in a handicapped spot, and Adam would go into the store and get me an electric wheelchair.  We got to the parking lot and there were no handicapped spots available.  It was like every handicapped person in Mercer County decided to go food shopping today.  After a few minutes we finally found one, in front of the empty store next door.  It was quite a distance from where Adam had to retrieve the chair, but there was no choice.  So we parked, Adam left the car, and I waited. And waited.  And waited a bit more until I could see him from a distance coming toward me on the cart going about as slow as a tortoise.  He finally got to me, the two of us laughing at the silliness of it all. I transferred from the car to the cart, and off we went.
About six feet.
And it stopped.
It just stopped.
We saw it still had power.  We turned it off.  We turned it on.  We tried again.  Adam tried giving it a push. It was stubborn, would not move.  I actually think I heard it laugh at us.  So Adam started the long trek back into the store to retrieve another chair.  And I waited.  However, I need to explain to you where I was waiting - where the chair stopped.  Right on the edge of the road, so it looked like I was waiting to cross the road.  So every single person who was driving by stopped, thinking I was waiting to cross the road. And really I was, but I was stuck.  So I had to wave them all along.  Some people didn't understand that I was waving them along, but rather they thought I was being polite and letting them go first.  And we had that arm motion argument you sometimes have with other people, you know the one that translates into "you go", "no you go".  So they had to roll down their window to hear me say, "no you go, I'm stuck."  About thirty people walked by me as I was sitting there.  Many kind of just looked my way.  A few stopped and asked if I needed help.  "No thanks," I said "I'm stuck.  My husband is retrieving another chair."
So I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And pretty soon, out comes Adam again, moving as slow as a tortoise, in another chair.  By this time I am doubled over laughing out loud.  The people walking by who couldn't see Adam in the far distance were looking at me like I had lost my mind.  Adam finally got to me, we made the difficult transition of getting me on the other chair, and we were finally on our way.
Off we went.
This time we got about twelve feet before I could see that the light was blinking.
We were low on power.
"Just try to make it to the other carts!" Adam exclaimed.
"I know, I know!" I snapped back.
Would we make it?  Would this chair fail us as well?
We S-L-O-W-L-Y maneuvered the chair around plants and people, chairs and cars.
After what seemed like a year we made it to the other carts.  We tested out the power levels, and finally found a chair that would possibly get us to thru "B"eg"mens".
Off we went.
By this time I was starving.  I had slept late, didn't have breakfast, so we decided to go to their delicious cafe and have some pizza and drinks (I could have used a gin and tonic, but settled for raspberry iced tea).  After paying for our food, the elevator door opens to bring us upstairs to the seating area.  I moved the chair forward into the elevator - CRASH.  Hmm.  Didn't feel like it was going to fit.  Backed up, did some fancy moves and turns and barely fit in - as the power died.
Yes the power died as I finally fit the chair in the elevator.
With me starving.
And my iced tea and pizza taunting me.
The elevator door closed.
I turned the power button off, looked at Adam, and said "I believe we are stuck in this elevator."
We went up to the second floor.
The elevator door opened,
I turned the power on, and lo and behold, the chair moved!
I don't think I have been more ecstatic about anything in a really long time!
We went to the closest table, and I ate that pizza and drank that tea with gusto.  Nothing ever tasted so good.

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