Sitting on the bleachers at my son's baseball game late last night, I was listening in on a conversation two friends were having about a recent "sabatical" from Facebook. One friend was explaining that she felt as though when her kids were younger, she spent a lot of time living through experiences with them and just seemed happier, but now she feels like she spends her time documenting the experiences and is not as happy (maybe not her exact words but my impression of the conversation). I thought about that a lot last night. I spend an enormous amount of time on Facebook right now. And I really have been since last November when my UC started to control my time away from other things in my life. And I can see my friend's point. I feel like I am documenting my life at times rather than living it.
Sometimes looking at Facebook makes me feel bad about all the things that I am not doing this summer. My time hop memories come up every day and I look at our previous trips to Ocean City, or playing miniature golf. And those are things that I have difficulty doing now, and it kind of bums me out. Or I see the exciting trips and adventures that friends are on, and I get a little envious of their ability to be out and about, moving quickly and freely through their life while I am struggling to walk down the driveway.
I realize that right now, documenting my life is living my life. I am documenting my journey - my trip - in order for me to see the progress that I am making. In order for me to inspire and support others I am documenting my trip down the driveway, or a simple trip to the movies. I feel success in driving to see friends and going out to dinner with my family. This is my journey right now. Though it doesn't involve a plane ride, or a trip to the beach, or even miniature golfing, it is still my adventure. Eventually those things will happen again. Right now I have to be content with the small steps. So I will continue to document my life through this blog and on Facebook, and read about the exciting things that my friends are doing. I might feel a little envious, but that is okay. I am on my own journey.