I feel apprehension because this is such a big decision and one that has taken such a long time to come to. A fear of the unknown - lots of questions, lots of uncertainty, lots of concern about care and maintenance, and pain, and bodily functions, and normalcy, and what will normal be. But I suspect that these questions will be answered tomorrow. I have written them down so I remember to ask.
I have a love/hate relationship with my colon, for pretty obvious reasons. It really has given me quite a run for my money over the past thirty years. It always reminded me of this book that my Mom used to read to me when I was little - 'when it was good, it was really, really good. When it was bad, it was horrid."
Will I miss it? I guess I will. After all we have had a life long relationship. Tumultuous most of the time, but a relationship all the same.
I have relatives and friends that have had their colons removed. I never asked them if they miss their colons. I suspect not, because of how much grief their colons gave them. I should ask them.
Tomorrow I will know more. I will have more information, and the start of a plan. And those things are good.