Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Tomorrow

I look to tomorrow with such apprehension.  I am meeting with the surgeon at Penn to discuss/schedule surgery.  A colectomy.  My colon removed.  An organ taken out of my body. Forever.  
I feel apprehension because this is such a big decision and one that has taken such a long time to come to.  A fear of the unknown - lots of questions, lots of uncertainty, lots of concern about care and maintenance, and pain, and bodily functions, and normalcy, and what will normal be.  But I suspect that these questions will be answered tomorrow.  I have written them down so I remember to ask.  

I have a love/hate relationship with my colon, for pretty obvious reasons.  It really has given me quite a run for my money over the past thirty years.  It always reminded me of this book that my Mom used to read to me when I was little - 'when it was good, it was really, really good.  When it was bad, it was horrid."  
Will I miss it?  I guess I will.  After all we have had a life long relationship.  Tumultuous most of the time, but a relationship all the same.  
I have relatives and friends that have had their colons removed.  I never asked them if they miss their colons.  I suspect not, because of how much grief their colons gave them.  I should ask them. 

Tomorrow I will know more.  I will have more information, and the start of a plan.  And those things are good.  


1 comment:

  1. So I see my timing was impeccable..sorry Deb! Well, I was thinking about you, anyway. ;-) I hope you get all your answers today. xxoo

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