Thursday, May 12, 2016
All my life I had this feeling that I was not quite accepted for who I am, that who I am is not enough. It was something I was very conscious of as a tween, then a teenager, a little less in college, and then as I became an adult it got buried in the back of my closet but I always knew it was there. This is not to say I didn't or don't have good self esteem. I am confident to say what I feel, and do as I should, but there is always this sense of what I say or what I do - that it is not quite enough. I heard someone describe it this way when describing another: She feels like a part of the puzzle but not the center pieces, somewhere along the border. That resonated with me. Why I care, I don't know. Maybe others feel this way. Maybe they care about what other people think of them the way I do. Maybe their feelings get hurt by the littlest, inane comment. All I know is that I work on this. I am enough. I am beginning to see it differently. What that person says or does or how they respond to me, has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with my self worth. I am worthy. And all of these feelings of not being accepted, it is time to let them go.