Thursday, May 12, 2016

Acceptance

All my life I had this feeling that I was not quite accepted for who I am, that who I am is not enough. It was something I was very conscious of as a tween, then a teenager, a little less in college, and then as I became an adult it got buried in the back of my closet but I always knew it was there.  This is not to say I didn't or don't have good self esteem.  I am confident to say what I feel, and do as I should, but there is always this sense of what I say or what I do - that it is not quite enough.  I heard someone describe it this way when describing another:  She feels like a part of the puzzle but not the center pieces, somewhere along the border.  That resonated with me.  Why I care, I don't know.  Maybe others feel this way.  Maybe they care about what other people think of them the way I do.  Maybe their feelings get hurt by the littlest, inane comment.  All I know is that I work on this.  I am enough. I am beginning to see it differently.  What that person says or does or how they respond to me, has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with my self worth.  I am worthy.  And all of these feelings of not being accepted, it is time to let them go.

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